It's Andy Fish!

Yes kids, I was there, way back in 1977 when STAR WARS ™ © 20th Century Fox, Disney Studios (and whoever else owns the franchise now), hit theaters across the country. My friend circle of David, John, Joey, David (yes there were two Davids), Joey’s sister whose name escapes me, Sandy, Molly, Derrick and Junito all sat around someone’s house, likely one of the two Davids who both had giant houses with rooms you could get lost in, when David II chimed in “We have to see this movie coming out, it’s called “Star Wars”!.

I can guarantee you the response was lukewarm at best. David II was a huge fan of STAR TREK — and we used to all intentionally drive him crazy by calling it Star “Track”– Doctor Who and those kinds of things, while the rest of us preferred James Bond, Superman, Planet of the Apes and King Kong all of whom had been on the big screen recently, yet somehow he got one of our parents to drop us off at what was the longest line I’d ever seen up to this point in my pre-teen life which wrapped around White City Cinema in Shrewsbury.

Inside you could buy a program book, and we were all interested in the unique characters especially what looked like a giant ape, a shiny gold robot and a figure dressed in black from head to toe.

We watched the movie and we really liked it– David II had a new obsession; no longer making Star Track props like phasers and communicators he switched to making Star Wars props like blasters and… hey they didn’t have any kind of radios or cell phones in Star Wars did they? I digress.

The rest of us liked it enough to buy the comic book adaptions, the Soundtrack Album featuring the classical styled music of John Williams, and hang posters on our walls. My focus was on Darth Vader– he was the ONLY reason I liked the film.

I remember going to the barber one Saturday and as I got into the chair he said “I suppose you want a Luke Skywalker haircut, that’s what everyone is asking for now.”

I looked at him as if he proposed giving me a bee-hive bonnet, lipstick and pearls– “Ugh, no. I hate Luke Skywalker!”

Admitting you hated Luke Skywalker (who I found to be and still find to be a whiney little Bitch) was akin to saying you didn’t like Baseball– and guess who didn’t like baseball either– yeah the barber shop was always a place where I felt like a communist walking into a Barry Goldwater party. I was apparently as un-American as I could be because of this thinking.

I’d often lie when they would come back with “Well you must like Han Solo then.” and I’d reply with a solid “Oh, yeah, sure.”

Truth was I didn’t like Han either. I liked Chewie, and he liked Han, so Han became like Joey’s little sister– someone who was in our friend group but nobody was really friends with.

I not only liked Darth Vader- I rooted for him. I felt like these upstart rebels had STOLEN something and we were supposed to celebrate this? Vader was just doing his job in trying to get it back.

So from 1977-1980 I was a STAR WARS ™ © (everyone who owns it)– and then THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK came along. Darth Vader was such a popular character that he got a bigger part in this one– and he even got to slice off Whiney Skywalker’s hand in battle. But there were way too many stupid elements to the story to keep me as a fan, and one connection in particular that really ended the franchise for me.

STAR WARS ™ © (please don’t sue me) goes on, I think they still make them today. I can’t tell for sure because there have been approximately 11,435 films, tv episodes and toylines so when I walk into a convention and I see Liam Neeson with a pony tail in a Jedi suit and I’m certain he wasn’t in either of the three movies I sat through that they made more.

But back when I was ten and Darth Vader walked on screen I was a fan, and I can still remember what that program book smelled like. Rich fresh varnish.