It's Andy Fish!

Yesterday I posted the list– today I took the test– let’s see how I did. I want to start by saying I always open the car door for ladies, and the same goes for any door– not sure why that isn’t on the list, maybe Country Living Magazine doesn’t consider their tractor to have doors.

1) Writes prompt and pithy thank-you letters – Half a Point– I used to write thank you notes, now I simply say to my wife “We need to send a thank you to…” and she does it. I’d happily do it but she takes the lead.

2) Never runs for things in public – Full point. I don’t run, unless someone grabbed the handbag I’m carrying in #29 below.

3) Learns and uses waiters’ names – Full point. I absolutely do this.

4) Is a good kisser – Full point, embarrassingly the answers to this quiz were given with my wife’s full opinion. She kept me honest.

5) Enjoys gin in a tumbler, not a balloon – Full Point- I have a hefty crystal tumbler I found at a thrift store many years ago, it’s heavy and its square– everyone knows this glass is mine.

6) Listens more than he speaks- you won’t believe this, but I am a good listener. However, I run several groups so I’m deducting half a point because I often am the speaker.

7) Doesn’t modify restaurant orders – I learned this lesson the hard way– if there’s something in the dish you don’t like, don’t order it. When you drop an ingredient it’s no longer the chef’s offering. Full point.

8) Believes Roger Moore was the best 007 – Well I don’t but that’s because I read the books and Connery is more of what Ian Fleming described. But I will say I don’t like how Connery treats women and as a kid I loved Roger Moore as Bond so half a point.

9) Doesn’t honestly care where someone went to school – Full on point– can’t emphasize this enough. I’m hard to impress with school credentials.

10) Takes the nearest canapé on the tray – absolutely. Full point.

11) Can poach and scramble eggs without fuss- yes to both– in fact I’m known for my expertise with eggs. Full Point.

12) Speaks to an assistant the same way he would a Duke- I don’t talk to a lot of Dukes but I treat everyone with respect. Full Point.

13) Would never change the seating plan – full point, I take it where the host or hostess chose and I go with it.

14) Is comfortable using moisturiser, but never hair gel – half a point. I do use hair gel, but it’s only because my hair would look like the crazed scientist from Back to the Future if I didn’t. But I brush it out mid morning before I go anywhere. #3 son who is very fashion conscious was convinced I don’t use any product in my hair.

15) Knows how to iron a shirt – Yup full point.

16) Is always the first person to say hello – Nope. Emphasized strongly by Mrs Fish– I need to work on this one.

17) Doesn’t wear tank tops to the gym – Full point. I wouldn’t be caught dead in one.

18) Never opens a message without replying to it – Bingo- full point.

19) Thinks Sabrina Carpenter is related to Karen and Richard – I only know who Karen Carpenter is, I’ve never heard of the other two but I would assume they’re related.

20) Is comfortable speaking in public – Full point

21) Calls it racing, not horse-racing – I don’t go to horse racing so I don’t call it anything. No point.

22) Would never go to watch a football match dressed in the team shirt – 1000%- if you don’t play on the team don’t wear the uniform.

23) Knows when to call it a night – Full yes

24) Never eats on the go – No, but I want to change this. I hate grab and go eating.

25) Enjoys any sport he may play, but doesn’t bang on about it – Wife said I don’t so I believe her.

26) Walks on the right-hand side of a country lane – easy yes.

27) Knows that ‘Babe’ is a pig and not a term of endearment – easiest yes on the list.

28) Has spare wellies for guests – I don’t wear rubber boots so sadly I can’t share, but I do have extra house shoes for guests, does that count?

29) Is happy to carry a handbag for a lady – I’ve done it but most of the time she’d rather carry her handbag while I carry all the other bags.

30) Knows how to pronounce ‘Moët’ – only because I took a wine course years ago and this stuck. It’s MOE-ET.

31) Agrees that only babies drink from bottles – Nah, I like coke in a cold glass bottle.

32) Has a dog who knows their place isn’t on the bed… sorry my dog was regal, if he wanted to sleep on the bed he gets to.

33) …and doesn’t include said dog when signing Christmas cards – wife said I don’t do this. But then I don’t fill out the Christmas cards.

34) Is pathologically punctual – insanely punctual.

35) Doesn’t drive a Tesla – Never would. Owned Tesla stock, a lot of it, never gave one second of thought to buying an ugly electric car. No electric car for me ever.

36) Prefers Emma Woodhouse to Elizabeth Bennet, but is secretly in love with Rupert Campbell-Black – had to look this up. Big no.

37) Isn’t snobby about which airline he flies with – another big no. I don’t fly on any budget air line.

38) Only stops at motorway service stations to use the bathroom – mostly true, but I’ve often got a drink there or food on long road trips.

39) Doesn’t take anything too seriously – often accused of not taking anything seriously.

Well I scored a 27– I think the dog questions and the concept that I would read TWILIGHT before I’d read a romance novel sunk me.
Oh well, like John Candy said “My wife likes me.”