The 60s produced some amazing TV shows. Today it’s the golden age of TV because TV has become Film and Film has become Big Budget Junk. Something like BETTER CALL SAUL is a 70 hour movie and it will engage you for every minute.
With no slight intended to Saul I want to turn my attention to a show that I’ve loved since I was a kid, LOST IN SPACE. I like STAR TREK, LIKE it. I like BATMAN. I LOVE LOST IN SPACE. Die hard fans of science fiction hate it because the first season was filmed as a pretty straight outer space drama and then the second season came in and the show went Color and it also went BONKERS. The third season pushed things too far and had alien vegetables trying to wipe out the Robinson Family, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Disclosure time; I did a show many many years ago and had the pleasure of hanging out for a weekend with Dr Smith himself, Jonathan Harris. He had just finished doing a voice acting job for Pixar and he was funny as hell. Easily my favorite and most entertaining celebrity in person. That’s saying something because I once spent four hours in a bar sitting next to Frank Gorshin who put on his full Vegas act but Harris was funnier because he was just being himself. I also got to know Billy Mumy there.
Back to the show;
LOST IN SPACE is an amazing journey to go on, the series, as I said, started out very seriously with Dr Smith being a stow away on the doomed Jupiter 2 space-craft which is slated to carry the first family into space, the Robinson’s, lead by Professor John Robinson and his co-pilot Major Don West. Smith sabotages the flight plan but then gets himself trapped on the ship which throws the whole thing off kilter and sends them, well, Lost in Space.
The first season of the show straddles between sci fi drama and straight horror show— kids Will and Penny Robinson discover a crypt full of skeletons and scary things and there is even a giant cyclops that tries to kill the family.
By the second season Dr Smith stopped his murderous ways and became a comedy foil for the show, while some might find him grating I dig the whole act. Which takes us to the episode I saw last night which reminded me of why I like this show so much;
TREASURE OF THE LOST PLANET Airdate Mar 7, 1967 - Season 2 Episode 23 Directed by Harry Harris. Here’s the plot from IMDB:
In this quasi-sequel to The Sky Pirate (1966), Will's reunited with Captain Tucker, who along with his alien pirate crew are searcing for a legendary lost treasure. The key to finding the booty is a metallic talking head in a box.
You got my attention at alien pirates and you had me with metallic talking head in a box. I mean how could you NOT want to watch that??
Here’s how the episode plays out;
The episode starts with Dr Smith teaching the kids how to play roulette after constructing a giant board and using the Robot as a spinner. It’s all in the name of teaching them about odds and luck but that’s the least crazy part of this episode and the show in general. I know, you want to jump off this review and scan Amazon for a complete set so you can watch this right now, well hold on, I’ll put a link at the end.
The head (top) and Space Pirate Captain Tucker and his crew (bottom).
Penny finds a gold coin in the sand which leads Smith to have them scour the rest of the area for any other sign of treasure. They find a metal ring which pulls open a huge trapdoor sending Dr Smith crashing down into a hidden crypt where he finds the metallic head in the box. Dismissing it as ghoulish he leaves it behind and takes the kids back to the ship. As the Robot is about to leave the head lights up and says “Good Evening” in a creepy metallic voice, which is accompanied by creepy harpsichord music to boot.
The Robot is freaked but no one will listen to him. That night, Dr Smith is sound asleep in his Ebenezer Scrooge night shirt and cap and he’s suddenly awoken by the appearance of the metallic head in his cabin where it springs to life and says “good evening” again.
John Robinson is convinced this is just a practical joke of his son Will Robinson, who denies having anything to do with it. Will’s got science stuff to do but he’s interrupted by the appearance of a familiar Robot Parrot who tells will he’s needed somewhere right now and leads him on a mission where Will stumbles upon the trussed up Space Pirate Captain Tucker behind some rocks, we met Ol’ Tucker last year in black and white and he’s a good enough guest star to bring him back for this go round in color. Tucker has been the victim of a mutiny from his crew and they left him here for dead. Needless to say, Will free’s his underhanded old buddy and brings him back to the ship where Ol’ Tuck bunks with Dr Smith.
When the head reappears Captain Tucker knows exactly what this is, it’s Beelibones, a robotic device created to guard a massive treasure which brought Tucker and his mutinied crew to this planet in the first place.
Tucker reunites with his crew and they set off to find the treasure with the help of Billy Bones, er Beelibones. This particular episode is loaded with Lost In Spaciness; Captain Tucker is a great character, even if he does put ribbons in his beard. The disembodied head is suitably creepy and the story, based very much on TREASURE ISLAND, is engaging enough to hold your interest for the full 50 mins.
LOST IN SPACE DIALOGUE:
TUCKER: Foul Weather himself, ya treacherous dogs! Now we'll parley with me holdin' the upper hand.
SMEEK: You can't blame the lads, Foul Weather. You promised Beelebones's treasure.
DEEK: Aye, and a chart to where it's buried.
TUCKER: Aye, and I'm a man of my word.
[Pounding on the box]
TUCKER: Say somethin', ya blasted head.
HEAD: Good evening.
DEEK: Wh-What's that?
TUCKER:: What's that? I'll tell ya what it is, ya scum! Ol' Beelibones was too smart to put a chart on paper. So he took a better road, ol' Beelibones did. This here head here is tuned into Beelibones's personality, in a manner of speaking, so that he'll lead Beelibones, and no one but Beelibones, to his treasure.
DEEK: Aahh! A lotta good that do us. Beelibones is dead and molderin' on Antares 6 these last five years.
SMEEK: You led us on a false trail!
TUCKER: Stop your yappin' toungues, ya dogs! False trail is it? Supposin' I were to tell ya that I have in the palm of me hand, so to say, a human who matches ol' Beelibones's personality trait by trait... and fault by fault?
DEEK: It ain't likely. Why, there never was a man as treacherous and cowardly, and as big a liar, and as greedy a glutton as Beelibones.
TUCKER: There be one! Zachary Smith by name. He be one of the crew of the Jupiter 2.
You can have your Shakespeare, I’ll take this script by Carey Wilber and Irwin Allen.
