With the check in hand I decided to go to my town police station and see what they thought. I reasoned that the check was mailed to that town so it falls into their jurisdiction and they’d be less busy than the “Big City” Police Department that is my jurisdiction.
A detective came out and went over everything and then scratched his head— “And you think this is a bad check because….” was his response. I went through the things that floated flags through the process. Then I pointed out the return address, the postmark and the check address. “Oh yeah. “ Said he. His advice was to either deposit it and wait and see what happens or send it back.
Not that I doubted the small town detective but I drove down to the City Police and went through the same thing with them. “Definitely seems funny— I’d send the check back.” was his response.
Now if you know me, I respect authority but I don’t blindly follow it. I wasn’t comfortable sending it back because it was made out to me and all someone would have to do is sign my name to the check and cash it. I’ve autographed enough stuff over the years that it could be an issue. For the record, the way I autograph something and the way I sign my checks are two entirely different styles for this very reason, but if someone did sign it the way I autograph things they could pass it off as mine.
I called my attorney who said absolutely do not deposit the check and do not send it back. Still not fully satisfied with the answer I did what I should have done the first time but just hadn’t thought of it— I drove it over to my banker.
I have a banker who thinks we have a monogamous relationship, he thinks I’m only seeing him. I don’t have the heart to tell him I have money deposited into at least another 6 banks. But he’s been the one who tries to talk me into taking out a loan, plus he’s got his own office and everytime I go there he sees me right away so I walked in, no secretary at her station, and plunked myself down in front of him and tossed the check on his desk.
He picked it up, looked it over, held it up to the light and said “where’d you get the fake check?”
BINGO!
His advice, absolutely do not deposit it and under no circumstances send it back. Hold it in case anything funny happens and if it does file a police report and get him and my attorney on the phone. I had already filed TWO police reports over it so I was happy with his response and my instincts.
As I left the bank I got the following text:
DID YOU DEPOSITI (sic) THE CHECK? CAN YOU SEND ME A SCREEN SHOT OF THE DEPOSIT SLIP?
I replied letting him or her know that the cat was out of the bag, I’d filed two police reports, consulted attorneys and bankers and would be reaching out to the Landscaping Service on whose check they sent the funds.
No reply.
About two days later I got a text.
DID YOU DEPOSIT THE CHECK?
I replied that they should probably check with their partner to see where we stood because clearly there was some breakdown in their communication.
That was it, I didn’t hear from them any longer.
About four months later I got an email that started with this;
“Dear Dr Fish;
I’m writing to you because I am a big fan of your work, and particularly your style which I think is a terrific fit for our latest project. I have a severe hearing disability which I hope you will not hold against me, but I’m wondering if you have time to discuss a possible commercial illustration job?”
So beware my friends, beware.
I don’t have any idea why they lead with the “disability” disclaimer— there is a slight variation which has them in Europe so forgive their English skills, but the key phrase to look for here is always “I hope you will not hold against me….”
Stay safe!