It's Andy Fish!

The other day I was putting on a pair of black leather Oxfords and the lace broke. Frustrated I opened my laptop and pulled up the Amazon website– what would have taken about three minutes I decided should turn into a half a day because for some reason I closed the laptop and said “I should really go out and support real world businesses.”

As I stepped outside I realized I didn’t know where to go to even buy shoelaces. Ace and Jed’s Hardware, two places I shop often where I buy absolutely FRESH Apples and bakery bread didn’t sell shoe laces.

“Try CVS.” one helpful high school kid suggested.

I walked into CVS and realized not only do they sell nearly everything in the world with the exception of FRESH Apples and bakery bread they also don’t sell shoes, but upon asking a clerk who seemed very overloaded emptying a gray plastic container onto the shelf walked me to an endcap with– ta da– shoelaces. Both black and white.

Unfortunately, they were shoelaces for sneakers. The only thing close to a dress shoelace was really plasticy brown weave style that were so stiff I realized this was why Bamboo was not the given choice when man decided what material shoe laces should be.

I went from there to Target, because I hate Wal*Mart slightly more and Target DOES sell shoes– and they sell laces, black and white for sneakers and a brown weavy kind that was just as stiff as the ones at CVS. I did find a pair of socks I liked and I carried them up to the front end and left them on top of a coke machine when I realized the self service checkout was 400 deep and the register that had one cashier at it was just as long.

Deciding to get on with my day I went back home, sat down at my kitchen table and in three clicks of my laptop on Amazon I found exactly the shoe laces I needed, I also threw in the pair of socks I left at target, some toothpaste and a thing of Little Debbie ™ ZEBRA Snack Cakes, all of which arrived the very next day.

So that is why I shop at Amazon. Three minutes, they had everything I wanted and more and I didn’t waste half my day trying to support the real world. If when the retail apocalypse comes I’ll remember the empty shelves and bad service at both Target and Wal*Mart and I’ll miss neither.

Because Amazon works.