It's Andy Fish!

I feel like I can’t win when the subject of Cats comes up. For years I’ve made some jokes about Cats– “I love Cats, especially with duck sauce” is a personal favorite– see it takes a shot at both Cats and bad Chinese Restaurants.

This type of humor has lead to most of my friends and probably all of my family thinking I hate Cats– so that’s on me.

For the record; I’m a dog person, I LOVE dogs. I’d go so far to say I’ve never met a dog I didn’t like. With that said, I don’t like aggressive dogs– but I’ve had a vicious german shepherd stop in his tracks when I stood my ground and gave a commanding “NO.” If I’m out walking alone there’s only a small chance I’m not going to stop you to say hello to your dog. We have a connection.

I don’t understand Cats. Are they supposed to be indoor or outdoor pets or both? I wouldn’t want a dog who spent 50% of his day outside alone walking around the neighborhood– I would have no idea what he got into while he was out there. I have a friend in Missouri who has several dogs and he doesn’t walk any of them– they just let the dogs out into the fenced off yard where they do their business and then they come back inside. Not only do I find this unthinkable but I can’t imagine what the yard cleanup must be like or what that yard must smell like. Walking a dog is a bonding experience that I would never give up. There are cold and rainy days where my dog and I would look at each other as if to say “are we really doing this?” And the answer was always yes even when we didn’t want to go out in it.

I have a neighbor who walks his cat on a leash and no that certainly doesn’t look crazy. It’s also one of the funniest things you’ll ever see because inevitably he’ll get the cat to walk about 30 steps before it just sits down and the walk is over.

Once when I was getting an estimate for something on the outside of my house I was standing on my front yard with the contractor, and said neighbor came along with his cat and stood next to us. I had just said to the contractor I needed to discuss the estimate with my wife.

The contractor then turned and looked at the two of us and said “I’ll let you two discuss this and get back to me.”

Needless to say I explained that this neighbor with a cat on a leash was not my “wife”.

I have two cats who hang out in my yard on occasion. One is a pure black cat with a stubby tail named “Felix” and the other is a giant very obese orange cat named “Oliver”. I have no idea how I know the names of these cats other than Veronica told me.

Whenever I encounter them, I talk to them in a friendly voice, I’ve pet both of them, and Oliver for some time would wait for me and Austin to go on a walk and he would go with us. Literally walk right beside us the entire way.

Oliver has also on occasion sat at the very top of my long driveway and refused to move as I pull in, I respect his stubborness and end up giving him space.

I saw Felix the other day running through the yard. I’ve not seen Oliver in quite some time. I’m afraid he might have gotten hit by a car, eaten by coyotes or snatched by the family of hawks who live about a half mile from me. I’ve seen those hawks snatch a rabbit out of my yard and it wasn’t a pretty way to go.

That folks is why if you have a cat don’t let it go outside by itself.

I like the look of a sleek black cat, and if I owned a bookstore I would most certainly have a black cat to keep my dog company– but the dog would come home at night and the cat would remain in the shop doing whatever cat things a cat does.

So clearly I don’t have anything against cats the same way I have nothing against squirrels or rabbits even though they cause massive amounts of damage to whatever we’re trying to do with the garden– but like those two creatures I don’t want a cat in my house either.