KOLCHAK PAPERS: Episode #13 - PRIMAL SCREAM

Air Date: Jan 17, 1975

Directed by Robert Scheerer. Written by Bill Ballanger and David Chase

Guest Cast: John Marley, Pat Harrington Jr., Katherine Woodville, Jamie Farr, Barbara Rhoades, Jeanie Bell, Lindsay Workman, Regis Cordic, Byron Morrow, Vince Howard, Sandra Gould, Al Checco.

FROM IMDB: Ancient cells discovered in the arctic by oil men give rise to a carnivorous, evolutionary ancestor and a corporate cover-up.

Kolchak did a pretty amazing job of covering whatever was big in the 70s. In an interview at the time star Darren McGavin recognized that a big chunk of his audience were kids and by this time in the series run it had moved from 10pm Friday nights to 8pm Friday nights which meant probably more kids. The irony in this is that Kolchak would actually climb to cult status when CBS would pick up the series in syndication and show it at 11:30pm on Friday nights. Anyway, back to 70s fads, we’ve been on a cruise, we’ve seen government coverup, we’ve dealt with robots and vampires now it’s Bigfoot’s turn. Considered by many Koclhakians as a lesser episode I think they should give this one another watch. Any Kolchak episode written by David Chase (who would go on to create THE SOPRANO’S) is a good episode and this one is no exception.

The episode opens with Carl at the scene of a violent crime where the victim has been torn apart— we get right into it with the most cantankerous anti-Kolchak cop in the series in the form of John Marley whose credits include hundreds of TV and movie roles from THE GODFATHER to THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

Shown here is the antagonism;

Carl Kolchak: Well, it looks like a freezer, but it's so hot and damp and humid in here, you could steam littleneck clams. 

Captain Maurice Molnar: Well, it's out of order. 

Carl Kolchak: Yeah, it stinks, too. It smells of mildew. Phew! 

Captain Maurice Molnar: Maybe it's your undershirt. 

Carl Kolchak: Could be your jokes. 

If KOLCHAK has faults it’s in the repeated elements that fit like cliche— the cop who hates Kolchak, a monster who throws people around, and a bunch of oddball characters he will meet as the investigation goes along. You either embrace these and enjoy the show or you find fault in them. It’s for this reason that I never advocate (as some blogs do) that you watch these everyday— once a week is much more natural for the way the show was intended.

Pat Harrington Jr

For oddballs we’ve got some of the best; Pat Harrington Jr who is probably best known as the handyman on ONE DAY AT A TIME but he’s got a long list of credits. Harrington plays an oil company PR man whose focus is more on when and where he’s having lunch than actually getting out the truth.

Barbara Rhoades tries to stall Carl.

Barbara Rhoades who was a buxom redhead who seemed to appear in every show in the 1970s including HAPPY DAYS, STARSKY AND HUTCH, SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN and of course COLUMBO. She’s a secretary here who has to hold off Kolchak’s truth seeking.

Regis Cordic is another face you’ll recognize but won’t be able to place, he’s another COLUMBO alumni as well as dozen’s of other shows and movies. He plays a doctor in this episode who creates another stumbling block for Carl.

Sandra Gould is a landlady who saw “the gorilla” and her credits include THE GHOST AND MR CHICKEN, THE FLINTSTONES (ORIGINAL SERIES) and BOY MEETS WORLD. She’s a great little character actress who always adds fun to whatever she’s in.

Kolchak discusses Ape Men with Jamie Farr

Jamie Farr, best known for MASH, is great as a high school teacher who longs for recognition and a vacation.

More KOLCHAK Dialogue;

Ron Updyke: It seems some dangerous animals did escape, including two large apes, a pair of adult African gibbons, as well as a Malayan tiger, a civet cat, and a pie-cost. 

Tony Vincenzo: What's a pie-cost? 

Ron Updyke: 89 cents.

The comedy bits are the best part of the show for me.
You might have missed a few easter eggs in this episode too; Kolchak was filmed and produced by Universal Studios, the company that gave us the classic monsters and there are a couple of homages to those in here;

The truck driver’s name is William Pratt. William Henry Pratt is the real name of Boris Karloff who would become a star in the Universal Monster Universe.

One of the victims is watching a Mummy movie (I think it’s THE MUMMY’S CURSE 1944) before he’s attacked.

Our Ape Man

How’s the monster? It’s actually pretty solid, we don’t get much of a look at him, and that’s always a good idea. I guess he’s not a Bigfoot officially, but to a kid in the 70s any ape on the loose was a Sasquatch.

KOLCHAK RATING: 4.0 This one is underrated and better than I remembered.

ROAD TRIP to see Comic Book Legend Jim STERANKO!

In a future post I’m going to write about my own “Mount Rushmore” of comic creators, among the ones I’m certain about are Jack Kirby, Will Eisner and Jim Steranko. I had personal relationships with Kirby and Eisner, but until this past weekend I only had a casual nod and gesture relationship with Steranko. My connection to Steranko runs deep, and and I both were raised in tough neighborhoods and turned to boxing to overcome bullying. We share sentiments on a lot of things most notably the importance of the Second Amendment. I liked his work so much I made my own hardcover edition of his best work because I found fault with every collected edition of his I owned.

The oversized hardcover edition I made complete with dust jacket.

I made a decision to seek him out at the next show we did together but things went screwy quick. Shows shut down for two years. Steranko had arranged to make an appearance at my local comic shop for their 40th Anniversary (congratulations That’s Entertainment— now 42 years in business and soon the subject of another post) but thanks to the pandemic that too got cancelled. He was announced for a couple of other shows nearby but those fell through for various reasons. The Little Giant Show in Concord New Hampshire had him as a headliner so it was on a Saturday afternoon I made the 90 minute trip north to meet him and get the book signed.

His stylized signature now in the book!

I made it in good time, and thanks to son’s #2 and #3 who were doing the show for SUPERWORLD COMICS I was inside and talking to Jim like an old friend. We talked growing up poor, learning how to fight, the 2nd amendment, our aversion to tyrannical mask mandates, old movies, who the best James Bond is (hint: it’s Connery) and more over the course of 40 minutes. We even made plans to get together for dinner.

Most fun was when he invited me into his inner circle, Steranko’s Henchmen, and he gave me the secret password which comes with it along with a T-Shirt.

A great guy, and I’ll post more about his work in the future.

Heroes Con Pickups

Some pickups from HEROES CON at Charlotte Convention Center in North Carolina— early Batman’s and a pre-code horror Mummy Comic— I’ll discuss pre-code horror comics in a later post.

BOND - A View To A Kill (1985)

A VIEW TO A KILL has a couple of things going for it— first it’s got Christopher Walken as the villain, Walken IS a Bond villain if ever I saw one. It’s also got Patrick MacNee who was Steed in the amazing AVENGERS TV series from England, and it’s also a time when Roger Moore looked at the dailies and realized he was too old to be cuddling with Tanya Roberts.

Originally David Bowie was going to be the villain, and when he declined it was offered to STING, and when he declined it went to Walken and he’s the best thing about the movie.

It’s set in San Francisco for the most part and after rewatching this I think the weakest part of the movie is Tanya Roberts. I don’t know why they think a 20 something looks good with a 50 something. Bond should have been given more dignity but like most things Hollywood produces they have a formula and they follow it even if it doesn’t make sense.

Roger Moore was a decent replacement for Sean Connery in his first three outings, but after THE SPY WHO LOVED ME the movies were train wrecks. This one is probably the best of the later half of them but Moore is looking every bit of his 57 years. Plastic Surgery doesn’t work kids.

Moore is finished but a new BOND will return in THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS

• BOND: Moore seems tired, it’s time to move on. **

• VILLAIN: Walken is the best villain in the Moore series. ***

• THEME SONG: Woo hoo— Duran Duran! At least they embraced good 80s music ****

• HENCHMAN: Grace Jones was kind of a big star for a while, the same way Dolph Lungren (who appears in this as his film debut because they were dating) was, without much substance. **
  OVERALL BOND RATING: **1/2

My Days As An Airport Limo Driver Part II

Not quite this nice but along the lines of this one.

Last week I thrilled you with the story of my first day of training at an airport limo service, here’s part two. Training on day one consisted of sitting in the passenger seat of a large van driven by a guy who had neither slept or showered for a number of days and observe. Okay, I pick people up and take them to the airport- then I pick more people up at the airport and take them home. I got it. Training complete.

Only it wasn’t. On this second day of training I’d be doing the driving and my trainer would sit in the passenger seat.

As we boarded the “bus” we did our checklist which included mapping out the locations of all of the customers we’d be picking up. We also swung by Flynn’s Truck stop to give the back a quick vacuum even though the driver from the night before was supposed to have done this.

Picking up the radio, the driver radioed in that we were heading out. “That’s it for me, you’ll be handling everything from here on.” He smiled as he settled into the passenger seat.

We picked up our first customer and my trainer wasn’t kidding. I got out loaded their bags into the back and helped them up into one of the seats. Then headed off to the next stop.

I radioed in that I had picked up the first passenger but I didn’t use military style lingo on the radio and the dispatcher corrected me, so too did my trainer.
”Yeah I’m not doing that.” I said as I put the van into drive and headed off to our next customer waiting for us to safely transport them to Logan Airport. We were driving an aging van not a B-20 Bomber over Tokyo.

In the past I’d THOUGHT about using an airport service when there was a potential for bad weather because I’d be worried about driving myself— I don’t know if I thought these vans were endowed with some magical traction power or the drivers were somehow professional but the reality was the brakes were very poor, the steering was so loose that as I drove down the Mass Pike the wheel would roll back and forth while I was driving a straight flat road. The defrosters barely worked and once there were six or seven people on the bus keeping them from fogging up was nearly impossible. A slight rain was falling and the passengers who as far as I know had never met before all started chatting each other up— the windows fogged pretty thickly as I turned the dial up to HIGH and the air coming out of the vent was like a sick gerbil was breathing on it.

I noticed an interesting pattern for my driver trainer— he’d sit in the seat for the loading, and sit is an exaggeration, he slumped down like a pile of unwashed clothes, but as we’d pull up to the house to drop someone off he’d jump out and get them their bag— and then pocket the tip. I figured he’d be decent about it and split it with me but since this was now day Four for him with no sleep or shower I figured he deserved the whole $37.

Next I’m launched on my own.

Robo Picto Spotlight

The fine folks at ROBO PICTO are posting some amazing items over on their site, comics, collectibles, shirts, toys— many many fun items. They’re also writing a very infomative blog with some really interestting insights that runs Monday - Friday.

Above- here’s a MARY MARVEL #28 in VF (high grade) condition— they currently have it for sale for only $375— please buy it up before I do.

Check out ROBO PICTO in the link over to the right >>>

My Art Collection- John Calnan Batman Page from 1975

John Calnan was working on Batman when I was reading it as a wee lad— I picked up this page because I want to get one from all the guys who worked on the character; Irv Novick, Ernie Chan and Jim Aparo.