Bond Tuesdays...DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)

I grew up in the 1970s so to me Roger Moore was James Bond. The first Sean Connery Bond film I ever saw was this one, and I thought he looked like an old pudgy balding man (which he was), so I couldn’t understand everyone’s attitude that Connery WAS James Bond. It would be many years later before I would see the earlier Bond’s and really understand and appreciate them.

For everyone who says that ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE would be regarded as the best Bond film of all time if Connery had been in it I point to this one and I say think again. Lazenby at this point in Connery’s career is a better choice for James Bond than Connery is. Connery is over the hill. Ironic because his soon to be replacement Roger Moore is older, and Daniel Craig is older than both of them as he continues to play Bond and he’s not only fit he’s super secret agent fit. Connery is wearing what looks like a cheap toupee and he’s soft enough that it makes the action scenes real groaners. Jill St John is the Bond girl and she’s great, Charles Gray, who played a good guy way back in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE takes over the Blofeld role here and I don’t know what to think of him. He’s not as good as Donald Pleasance, and he’s not threatening as Telly Savalas so this entry, about stolen Diamonds set in Las Vegas seems like a step back in the wrong direction. At least they don’t try to make Connery Korean in this one. There are some good elements here, the homosexual assassins are a bold choice for the time and there are parts set in a funeral home that are downright creepy, overall a lot of people were excited Connery was back only to realize sometimes its better to say goodbye.

Is the Worst Connery still better than the best Moore? Nope, not even close. He can’t beat Lazenby or Craig here either. It’s Connery but just barely.

James Bond will be back, but Connery won’t, in LIVE AND LET DIE

• BOND: Connery might have been bored in YOLT but he’s bored AND out of shape here which is worse. *1/2

• THEME MUSIC: It’s trying to be GOLDFINGER but it’s not. ***

• VILLAIN: Charles Gray is an little odd, and there are some real camp elements which don’t help.

• OVERALL BOND RATING: 7.0 and I’m being generous.

Bond Tuesdays...ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)

ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE is probably Ian Fleming’s most complex Bond yarn— keep in mind the novels are not great literature, they are pulp level action stories— but this one attempts to give Bond some depth and the film-makers for the first time stay closer to the source material than simply the title and minor plot elements and characters. Where they went wrong is mainly the tongue in cheek attitude that would hamper the franchise from this point until Daniel Craig’s turn as 007 forty years later.

Sean Connery seemed bored in the last film and he was, enough was enough and he decided to walk away from the role that had made him famous. A desperate casting call went out and the role eventually went to Australian model George Lazenby, who looked a lot older than his real age of twenty nine. Lazenby isn’t bad, but he’s not Connery and that might be the biggest flaw with the film, although by this time Connery wasn’t Connery either (and we’ll see this in the next film).

Telly Savalas is an interesting choice as Blofeld, who we last saw portrayed by Donald Pleasance. Savalas has a surprisingly strong screen presence but he’s so American and seemingly uncultured he doesn’t fit what we’ve come to think of as Blofeld.

The real win here is Diana Rigg fresh off her cult star status on BBC’s THE AVENGERS, following in the footsteps of Honor Blackman who left an earlier incarnation of the British Spy show to be the Bond girl in GOLDFINGER. Rigg is the strongest Bond girl to date, without throwing spoilers on a fifty year old film, and attains the highest level any Bond girl has ever achieved.

It’s got a great score, the first one without any lyrics, and it doesn’t need it, and a couple of really great ski chases as well as the only sled chase I can recall in the series. But it’s got it’s share of ridiculous parts notably Lazenby’s disguise as a Scottish Nobleman complete with kilt and a badly dubbed accent. But overall it’s a uptick in a series that was on a downward slide.

James Bond will be back (but Lazenby won’t) in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

• BOND: George Lazeny isn’t Sean Connery, but he’s better than Roger Moore and everyone after him until Danny Craig ****

• THEME MUSIC: The series highpoint. *****

• VILLAIN: If we hadn’t met Blofeld in the previous entry, Telly Savalas would have been better served, but he’s probably the most seriously threatening Bond villain in the franchise history ****

• OVERALL BOND RATING: 9.2 Get over Connery’s absence and embrace Diana Rigg. ****

BOND Tuesdays: YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967)

YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967) should be my favorite Bond film because it’s got it all— sixties style, classic Tokyo, secret volcano lair, Donald Pleasance as the villain and Sean Connery, but it’s weaker than everything except Doctor No mainly because Connery was tired of playing James Bond and it shows.

The plot is also overly ridiculous— Bond is “killed” in the opening scene, which lasts for about the length of the credits and for not much reason that I can think of other than some kind of PR stunt. The most ridiculous part comes later— when they decide the best way to tackle SPECTRE’s secret volcano base is to disguise 6’3” Sean Connery as a Japanese guy. Didn’t even come close to working.

All right— here’s the plot, Donald Pleasance is Blofeld, Bond’s archest of all arch nemesis and his evil cat have decided to work for a rogue nation and start a war between Russia and the United States by making it seem like each is attacking the other’s space program— remember this was the space age.

James Bond is on the case and he’s sent to Tokyo to sort things out. Bond shows genuine affection for one of the Bond girls this time around, but that lasts about the same as his opening death scene after she’s killed he’s already moved on to another conquest.

It’s also worth noting that there are some cringe-worthy moments regarding the mid-sixties attitude toward women, especially in Japan. I can tell you from experience that those attitudes still remain in the land of the rising sun, and I am the last person on the planet to be offended by anything because I tend to keep things in perspective, but some of the lines in this had me wincing*.

• BOND: Connery is ready to leave and he’s looking paunchy, but he’s still the best Bond **1/2

• VILLAIN: Donald Pleasance is the best Blofeld ever. Try to forget Dr Evil *****

• THEME SONG: Nancy Sinatra’s perfect 60s Bond theme. The whole soundtrack rocks *****

• HENCHMAN: Not much to see here.
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 7.5 Any Connery is better than No Connery.

*People who know me quite well are often surprised I’m okay with the rampant womanizing in these Bond films— I see those scenes the same way I saw them as a kid— essentially I don’t. I never noticed the love scenes when I first saw these because I ignored boring icky stuff— and the same holds true now. Bond is often a pig, and he’s not someone I would want to hang out with. It won’t be until 1987’s LIVING DAYLIGHTS that Timothy Dalton (if I remember correctly) shows some respect for the women he runs into. I’ve been saying it since I started Bond Tuesdays— I like the Bond films for the exotic locales, the style, the gadgets, the villains and then lastly for Sean Connery who when he’s really on his game like in GOLDFINGER he’s great.

Bond Tuesdays...THUNDERBALL (1965)

After making the perfect James Bond film the producers knew they had big shoes to fill— so they went bigger, they went all in, and for the most part it pays off. Third appearance of America’s answer to 007 in the form of Felix Leiter played by a third actor— they can’t seem to settle on a Felix. THUNDERBALL is GOLDFINGER with a bigger budget but it also sort of loses its way and two of the three Bond girls look so much alike that I mix them up. But if you want to show someone a Bond film and you want it to be even more action oriented than GOLDFINGER this is your choice. Connery’s last great Bond film.

BOND will return in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE

• BOND: Connery is as good in this one as he was in the last one, so he’s perfect. *****

• VILLAIN: Largo is a Spectre villain, he’s pretty good. ****

• THEME SONG: Tom Jones kills this one. *****

• HENCHMAN: We’re told how sinister Vargas is, we even get a glimpse of it, but when it comes time to fight he loses in a half second. ***
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 9.2

Bond Tuesdays...GOLDFINGER (1964)

Directed by Guy Hamilton starring Sean Connery, Honor Blackman and Gert Frobe. Released Jan 9, 1965 110mins.

This is it folks, this is THE James Bond film. It only took them three times to get the formula down. The fashion, the Aston Martin car, Honor Blackman as one of the best and strongest Bond women in the series, and Auric Goldfinger is the bondest of all Bond Villains;

With Bond strapped to a table and Goldfinger using a laser weapon straight towards him he asks:

“Do You expect me to talk, Goldfinger?”

“No Mr Bond, I expect you to die.”

Connery is finally comfortable in the role and this is the one that all other Bond’s should be measured against. It’s got it all.

This BOND adventure cements in my mind why Bond is a character of the 60s— the fashion, the skinny ties, the Cold War at its hottest, this was the time to be a spy.

Shirley Eaton is the backup Bond girl who ends up on the poster covered in gold. Tania Mallet is her sister who comes to seek revenge and ends up worse.

Shirley Bassey knocks the theme song out of the park and John Barry brings the rest of the score up to the same level.

Sadly, Jack Lord was replaced as Felix Leiter— a role he had originated in DR NO (1962) three years earlier (see trivia below). His replacement seemed ill-matched.

TRIVIA: Originally they were going to use a buzz saw in the laser scene (as was in the book) but the producers decided the threatening buzz saw was too old fashioned.

Orson Welles was the original choice for Goldfinger, but wanted too much money.

Bond creator Ian Fleming visited the set while the movie was filming but passed away before it’s release.

One of the favorite movies of director Federico Fellini who felt this kind of film is what cinema was supposed to be about.

Producers replaced Jack Lord with the uninspiring middle aged looking Cec Linder as Bond’s best friend, CIA Agent Felix Leiter because it was felt that Lord was overshadowing Connery when he played the part in DR NO (1962)

This movie was so popular that theaters took to 24 hour showings to meet demand.

BOND will return in THUNDERBALL.

• BOND: Sean Connery is James Bond

• VILLAIN: Gert Frobe is dubbed as Goldfinger which adds something to his off manner. *****

• THEME SONG: by Shirley Bassey. *****

• HENCHMAN: OddJob kills people with his hat. *****
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 10.0

Bond Tuesdays...FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)

DR NO was a hit so a sequel was ordered and the budget was doubled and it shows. This one further cements the groundwork that will be a James Bond film and introduces Q, the head of British Intelligence Gadgetry and the Bond series is off and running.

He’s up against SPECTRE again who is seeking revenge for his murder of their agent Doctor No— the lead villain is Blofeld who will be the only truly recurring villain in the series, although his face is not seen, he is the man behind the treachery.

Robert Shaw is Red Grant, the assassin assigned to take out 007 and he’s truly a threat. We also get tiny little german woman Rosa Klebb who has knives in her shoes and she’s a kicker so it’s a dangerous combination.

Connery is getting comfortable in his role but he’s still giving it his all, he’s on the verge of being the best Bond he can be. This one is more serious and less gadget laden than the series will become making it a favorite among fans of the original books by ian Fleming.

• BOND: Connery is figuring out James Bond. ****1/2

• VILLAIN: Blofeld is the Bond Villain. *****

• THEME SONG: A little too flowery for my liking. ***

• HENCHMAN: Red Grant is a man of steel. ****1/2
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 9.2

It’s worth noting that PLUTO is offering a James Bond channel right now.

Bond Tuesdays presents Bond...James Bond... DR. NO (1962)

We’ll go through all the Bond films with an update to my previous reviews.

Don’t let the poster fool you— that must have been done for a re-release after the other Bond films— because I suspect when they did the first one they didn’t know if they’d be doing any more.

The First James Bond film establishes a lot of what we know, like and dislike about James Bond— his Walther PPK, his affection for Vodka Martini’s and his weakeness for women.

I’ve always been a Bond fan, but I’d say I’m a casual one— much like my like of the Original Star Trek— I can’t quote lines by heart and it feels sixties to me. Bond works best as a character of the 1960s and as a kid I’d never noticed or cared about the women and the womanizing, but as an adult I can certainly see how it makes the character unpleasant to a lot of people.

The first Bond film is one of the weakest of the lot— we get Sean Connery and he makes for a Bond that is close in nature to the one written by Ian Fleming in the books, we get some spy gadgetry but it’s clumsy and awkward in much of its design, much like the overall movie, and it’s a little slow.

The best part is Jack Lord as Bond’s best friend and CIA Agent Felix Leiter— I think if Lord had stayed in the role he would have been a threat to Bond’s popularity because he’s that good.

Bond will be back in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

• BOND: Connery is pretty solid but the character isn’t quite finished. ****1/2

• VILLAIN: Dr No sets the standard for the bad guy in the series. ****

• THEME SONG: Three blind mice is a pretty weak theme song. **

• HENCHMAN: **
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 7.5