Bond Tuesdays...FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)

DR NO was a hit so a sequel was ordered and the budget was doubled and it shows. This one further cements the groundwork that will be a James Bond film and introduces Q, the head of British Intelligence Gadgetry and the Bond series is off and running.

He’s up against SPECTRE again who is seeking revenge for his murder of their agent Doctor No— the lead villain is Blofeld who will be the only truly recurring villain in the series, although his face is not seen, he is the man behind the treachery.

Robert Shaw is Red Grant, the assassin assigned to take out 007 and he’s truly a threat. We also get tiny little german woman Rosa Klebb who has knives in her shoes and she’s a kicker so it’s a dangerous combination.

Connery is getting comfortable in his role but he’s still giving it his all, he’s on the verge of being the best Bond he can be. This one is more serious and less gadget laden than the series will become making it a favorite among fans of the original books by ian Fleming.

• BOND: Connery is figuring out James Bond. ****1/2

• VILLAIN: Blofeld is the Bond Villain. *****

• THEME SONG: A little too flowery for my liking. ***

• HENCHMAN: Red Grant is a man of steel. ****1/2
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 9.2

It’s worth noting that PLUTO is offering a James Bond channel right now.

I Once Worked as a Butler... Well, Sorta...

I wasn’t quite as polished as William Powell…and MY MAN GODFREY is a great movie BTW.

Back around twenty years or so ago I was working as an art teacher at the Worcester Art Museum. If you’ve ever worked for a non-profit you know it’s not very lucrative. Part of my duties were to travel out to schools and do art classes for ones that didn’t have a budget for a regular art teacher. It wasn’t long before I did the math that the art museum was charging 3x what I was getting paid to provide this service, which in turn led me to cutting them out and charging it myself.

This lead to a parent contacting me in a fairly wealthy town to provide private art lessons to their pre-teen son. They felt he had a real burning desire to do art and wasn’t getting enough art education through his private school. I looked over his portfolio and thought he was pretty talented for a 12 year old so I agreed to take the gig. My memory isn’t all that great, I don’t remember having an interview with the parents, I don’t even remember the parents. I DO remember arriving at the address, taking the key out of the mailbox, disarming the alarm system and then working with this young man on his art when he came walking in about 10 minutes later after getting out of school.

This continued for a full season every Wednesday afternoon, and there would be a note on the kitchen counter for me which would usually have some kind of message like “we are concerned about his color theory ability” or “He’s not understanding Mid Century Modernism”— you know, normal suburban parent worries.

I liked the kid, he had talent, the trouble was he knew he did because he was constantly told that by teachers and family and he felt like at the ripe old age of 12 he had it all pretty much figured out. Start the acceptance letter for Pratt in Brooklyn.

This lead to some troubles because I would push him with an assignment, an assignment outside his comfort level which is truly the only way to grow, and he didn’t like being pushed beyond what he was really good atl. Those counter top notes would be my back and forth communications with mom, so in my response I would explain what I was asking him to do and why it was important for him to follow through.

At first, her replies were very positive, and she wanted him to get a real art education, but as we got further and further in he really began to fold and the notes would be excuses as to why he didn’t do an assignment. Then they got really strange. It started with a brief reference to whatever lesson we’d been doing and then include a casual “would you mind taking Rover out for a walk?” or “could you chop the vegetables and preheat the oven to 400 before you leave?” —??

I think I walked the dog, I like dogs and if they wanted to pay a dog walker $250/hour (that was what I was charging for private lessons) I was okay with that— but I stopped at chopping vegetables. My final note thanked her for the opportunity and a wish that the son would do well, but that if he didn’t learn how to push himself he could certainly fake his way through art school and come out with a degree, but that degree would be worthless because there would be no actual knowledge behind it.

I kept in touch with the young man and he reached out to me sophomore year at a lesser art school (his portfolio didn’t get him into the top schools) and he told me I was totally right and he wished he had seen it back then.

It was an interesting experience.

New Car Buying Made Painful-- Another Repost

Since I just bought a brand-new car a couple of weeks ago I was interested to see what my thinking was with this post— I may replace my Sedan since that’s 10 years old so it’s still relevant. I had such a good experience a Sentry West Mazda in Shrewsbury I may buy another Mazda. But here’s what I wrote last year.

When I ran a supermarket I was once struck by a class I took discussing sales— it said basically that grocery shopping is the only Adversarial shopping there is— all other forms of shopping the consumer wants to be there, they want to buy something, but with grocery shopping they are they begrudgingly because they NEED food.

That hit home.

But then it occurs to me ALL Shopping is adversarial — they have something you want, you have something they want (money) and you want to part with as little of yours for more of theirs.

Car Shopping is like that. I buy a brand new car every ten years, I’ve used this system for many many years, I bought a brand new Toyota in 1994 which I traded in for a brand new Pontiac in 2003 and that went to a brand new Kia in 2013— well check the calendar kids because it’s time to trade in and get something else. The Toyota was very basic, a cheap car, the Pontiac was a luxury car— it had all the bells and whistles and it had a lot of power, the Kia was back to basics. I also paid CASH for both cars because I don’t like car payments, so what I do is I deposit a “car payment” into a bank account for the car I own and then allow that money to generate interest and use that to buy my next car— it means interest works for me instead of against me with a car loan.

I don’t know if this is a good system or not, but it works for me. I also have an excellent 800+ credit rating, so I get offered some great rates but unless that rate is 0% I don’t see the benefit of it.

So it was that I walked into a showroom to take a look at what the new models have to offer. Kia is owned by Hyundai and I think they actually make good cars. Unlike Honda they also make cars that I don’t consider ugly and they offer a 20 year 200,000 mile warranty. Son’s #2 and #3 recently bought brand new Kia’s and I like both of the cars they chose very much.

My mechanic isn’t a big fan, and he makes a good point, if I’m going with the higher end Kia I’m paying only about $5k less than a Mercedes so why not go that way— again I argue that warranty is really good and this current Kia I’m driving has had no major issues ever. In fact its been such a good car I’m not sure I even need to trade it in— it only has 90k miles on it (we work from home), but the ten years is coming up so I’m getting my head into the game.

Bond Tuesdays presents Bond...James Bond... DR. NO (1962)

We’ll go through all the Bond films with an update to my previous reviews.

Don’t let the poster fool you— that must have been done for a re-release after the other Bond films— because I suspect when they did the first one they didn’t know if they’d be doing any more.

The First James Bond film establishes a lot of what we know, like and dislike about James Bond— his Walther PPK, his affection for Vodka Martini’s and his weakeness for women.

I’ve always been a Bond fan, but I’d say I’m a casual one— much like my like of the Original Star Trek— I can’t quote lines by heart and it feels sixties to me. Bond works best as a character of the 1960s and as a kid I’d never noticed or cared about the women and the womanizing, but as an adult I can certainly see how it makes the character unpleasant to a lot of people.

The first Bond film is one of the weakest of the lot— we get Sean Connery and he makes for a Bond that is close in nature to the one written by Ian Fleming in the books, we get some spy gadgetry but it’s clumsy and awkward in much of its design, much like the overall movie, and it’s a little slow.

The best part is Jack Lord as Bond’s best friend and CIA Agent Felix Leiter— I think if Lord had stayed in the role he would have been a threat to Bond’s popularity because he’s that good.

Bond will be back in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE

• BOND: Connery is pretty solid but the character isn’t quite finished. ****1/2

• VILLAIN: Dr No sets the standard for the bad guy in the series. ****

• THEME SONG: Three blind mice is a pretty weak theme song. **

• HENCHMAN: **
  OVERALL BOND RATING: 7.5

Sorry, I've been busy not dying. (Sorry, just a reposting.)

Originally posted Nov 14th 2013— I thought it would be interesting to run it again over ten years later.

Okay, so I believe in ghosts or guardian angels because I've skirted by too many things to think otherwise.  The ghost also hides things from me on occasion, just enough to have a laugh.

So here's how I remember last week;

Tuesday night I had another gall bladder attack, this one triggered by green leafy salad and grilled chicken.

I'd spent the night in St Vincent's Hospital early Summer with my first ever gall bladder attack, only opting to attempt diet change to prevent further attacks rather than have it removed.  The ultra sound had showed it to not be infected and the doc gave me a clean bill and sent me on my way.

A few weeks later I had another attack, this one nowhere near as bad and drinking down some water with apple cider vinegar seemed to help it.

Two weeks or so prior to this big attack I had another one, this one extremely minor but I was beginning to realize that there might be more to this than I was willing to admit.

The Tuesday night attack had Veronica trying to convince me to go to the hospital again, I was convinced at that point it was getting better.

When I woke up Wednesday and it was still bad I knew this was different.  I hemmed and hawed and finally let her drive me to the hospital where I promptly doubled over at the check in.  Within seconds hands were helping me into a chair and soon they were pumping me with pain killers, only this time the pain killers did nothing.  

NOTHING.

And this was morphene.  They gave me something 10x more powerful and that helped me sleep thru the night, they even made up a bed for Veronica so we spent a mostly peaceful night in a quasi drug induced la la land.

In the morning they rushed me into surgery, I was awake and they told us to say goodbye.  We don't lie to each other, she was already pretty upset so rather than say what I was thinking, that there was a good chance I wasn't coming through this, I told her to remember the bond we have, and the fact that we both believe in ghosts.  Basically I said if I didn't make it I'd be back and she'd feel me there.

I don't remember anything else but waking up with a mask on my face and a nurse saying something like "do you know you have .... Down your nose and throat?"

I nodded yes to whatever she said and she took the mask off which pulled something out of my nose or throat or both.  I asked if my wife was there and they said yes, but in my groggy state I couldn't see her.  The surgeon came over and said I did great, said he took a picture of it that he'd show me later, and he apologized saying he'd upset my wife talking to her.  He said we got it out in the Nick of time, and that it was the worst one he'd ever seen.

I asked for Veronica  gain and then she was there.  A prettier site I'd never seen.  I'll remember those big brown eyes as long as I'll live, which I suspect is going to be a long time.

Because I have that guardian angel.

And I believe.

Newport...and Apple Watches?

We toured the Breakers Mansion in Newport the day after my birthday

We’ve never been to Newport Rhode Island, or if we have I don’t remember it. So we took a rainy Thursday night ride down there (probably the biggest reason I’d never been is I don’t like driving through Rhode Island because other than Providence I don’t know it very well) and we arrived and found street parking. The Mansion Tour was beautiful although a little crowded— which made it a bit warm after a few minutes.

The opulence of the mansion, owned by the Vanderbilts, was striking and it was amazing to see the incredible details in all of the workmanship.

After the tour we drove the half mile into town where we struggled a little bit to find parking, but soon enough we did and we walked over to Mother’s Pizzeria and ate at the bar. We had a Fungi Pizza with Truffles and some bartender created cocktails. All five star.

We walked a little bit more after dinner— it was a chill damp night but nowhere near what it could have been for late December so nobody is complaining.

OH APPLE WHERE IS THY CREATIVITY?

Apple is the only company I don’t follow my own rules on in being a shareholder. Since the death of Steve Jobs I feel like the company struggles to find its creative genius. I still use 90% Mac Products and I’ll never switch to PCs but it struck me the other day that I was once an admirer of the Apple Watch but after a few generations I dropped it for the very simple reason that I can’t stand the idea of charging my watch every night. The killing strike was a long day of travel to some forelorn place and as I got on the final shuttle to my hotel my Apple Watch gave up the ghost and I no longer knew what time it was. Yes I could look at my iPhone, but I like the ability to look at my watch and see the time, George Bush style.

Years ago I switched back to analog watches, and I have never looked back. My favorites are a Hawaiian Lifeguard Dive watch which has a face I can clearly read— it glows in the dark brilliantly and it’s striking yellow band makes a statement. Another favorite is a Skaagen impossible thin watch that #3 son gifted me, it’s a very upscale watch and I wear it when I dress up— you can’t wear a dive watch with cufflinks brah.

But so it goes— why did I dump my Tesla Stock when I felt Elon has lost his marbles and he first introduced that god awful truck? I also ditched when I discovered electric cars have such a short charging life and such a long recharging life and that the battery, if it doesn’t burst into flame, is insanely expensive to replace. I like the idea that if I get lost I can pull in to a gas station, refuel and be on my way.

I don’t think I’ll ever buy an electric car— and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way— auto makers are reporting tremendous losses in e-car sales, the technology just isn’t there yet— and look at Texas—they took great leaps to move to electric over everything else energy wise and then faced three days of no power when a surprise storm knocked out the grid. Big surprise that a recent study found that Electric Cars actually emit WORSE things into the air than Gas cars do.

No thanks.

#5 GET PAID SON! - FREELANCE GUiDANCE: A 10 Part Series

The biggest magic trick the Freelancer ever pulled was convincing his client to actually pay him a fair wage.

You want to make it in this business, kid, you gotta get paid. So how do you figure out how what to charge?

You can turn to the Graphic Artists Guild Pricing Guide for some reference if you're just starting out. But unless you live in New York or LA (lower Alabama I'm not talking about) those prices are going to be spit-took when the client hears them.

So HOW do you get paid?  The easiest way is to negotiate with respectable clients.

First and foremost, make sure you agree up front (and in writing) that you WILL be paid.  Not only do I use a formal contract I also insist on ALL communication between me and clients to be via email-- why? Because then I have a paper trail-- I can re-read emails for project details and I have essentially a written correspondence regarding the agreement of trade. Keep the email conversation in a chain— i.e. so you can scroll back and see what was said. Update the Subject line so that you can find a particular conversation quickly. Just keep it professional and remember this is a client/provider relationship.

Cause that's what it is-- the client is trading you something (preferably cash) for your services to provide. 

When you first hang your freelance shingle up you're going to get approached by a LOT of people offering you work either on SPEC or "for the exposure".  Here's a cold hard truth-- unless that company offering you exposure is Time Magazine it's not worth it-- and guess what?  Time Magazine actually pays you for work so the point is moot.

This brings up the basic formula of work:

• 1. Work on Spec - You'll get paid after publication based on the number of copies sold because your work appears in it. I HATE these deals. HATE 'em. If you're going to work on SPEC then work ONLY on something you OWN. In the comics world writers can whip out a 22 page story in a day or two, an artist will take a month or longer if they have a full time job. Yet SO many writers and publishers of small companies offer you spec for payment with ZERO equity in the product. BAD. Make sure if you're providing the artwork you are getting a share of the profits. If you’re hired on spec to provide an illustration, or worse, for donation purposes (for exposure) make the image something that you could sell prints of afterwards to turn your time into money.

• 2. Work for hire-- You'll get paid up-front or upon completion but you will own nothing. You are solely providing a service, like a plumber installing a new bathroom for you-- they can't come over and use it any time they want just because they installed it. Same thing here, you do the work, you get paid and that's it. This is how the vast majority of publishing works.

• 3. Royalty Work-- You get paid up front or upon completion of the work and you will get a royalty based on the number of copies sold or you negotiate for additional payments if the image is re-used, or you set a limit to how often it can be used.

How do you negotiate?

I use a simple method when someone contacts me-- here's how I handle it and it works 85% of the time:

"Hi Andy-- we LOVE your work and we have (such and such) we think you'd be PERFECT for!  We were wondering if you'd have time and what such a project would cost?"

"Great! Thanks! What's the budget?"

That's as involved as it gets, now keep in mind there are a couple other factors--

A- I look over the project that they're talking about and make sure I understand exactly what it is they are looking to hire me for. I listen carefully to what they’re describing and trying to figure out if I can “see” what they’re looking for. If I can’t see it in my head as they describe it this might not be a good fit for me. But asking for their budget is essential.

B- I calculate a rough budget and time frame in which I can deliver it so I have a number in my head.

Now if that client has a project that I REALLY dig, or if they happen to make me laugh in the proposal AND they show that they've actually LOOKED at my work that will go a long way towards keeping my price down.  Steve Altes, when he reached out to me about his graphic novel GEEKS AND GREEKS, not only referenced specific works I'd done but he made me laugh. His online presence was tremendous and he happened to mention a record album he had been looking at that day- and by sheer coincidence I had looked at the same exact one (a vintage one at that) -- I knew it was instant Karma and this was a guy I not only wanted to work with but I found a new friend.

Ok, so about 85% of the time the client will come back with a budget they had in mind.  On the 15% of the time they don't I have to give them a number.  I've been doing this a long time so I can come up with a number pretty quickly.

I use a simple equation:

WHAT DO I NEED to pay the bills this month?

HOW busy am I?

How LONG will this take?

How badly do I want to do this project?

Let's say you pay yourself an hourly wage of $100/hour and that is what you consider your IDEAL rate.  Ideal= you're in good shape bills wise so it's okay if you lose this job. 

Factor in the number of hours you expect this to take (a good rule of thumb is to double whatever number you come up with because you're likely to underestimate how much work this'll be).

ASK and UNDERSTAND what your royalties will or won't be. If it's none then you need to up the price a bit.  If it's being used for commercial purposes what kind of permissions are you granting?  Someone who hires you to design a T-Shirt for a Cub Scout fundraiser shouldn't have to pay the same amount as someone who is hiring you to design a T-shirt for their website that they will then sell in perpetuity with no royalties on those sales.

This is the point where you're going to hear about the magic of exposure.  Exposure means you should do this cheap because of the fame you will gain.

I just don't buy into that.  I DO free work that I donate to Charity Auctions like Art In The City or the Boys and Girls Club.  I do it because I believe in the cause and if it's lead to any exposure no one has mentioned it to me. Full disclosure— I used to donate to a community medical clinic’s annual fundraiser— the pieces I would donate generated a good amount of money. One time back when I was starting out and I didn’t have health insurance I went there with an emergency and they turned me away. Note— the for profit hospital I went to next admitted me, so this was a serious situation. I tell them to get lost when they call me every year now.

In fact you can get a lot of exposure just by building yourself a decent web-presence, but that's next week's lesson.

All right so let's assume they've given you all the details of the project and you want to do it, and it fits in your schedule and it seems to be a good mix for you. 

You figure how many hours-- let's say 10 to keep the math easy-- double it because you know how bad you are at figuring how much work something is going to be and you have that hourly rate-- in this case $100/hour which brings us to a grand total of $2000/USD for 20 hours of work granting them whatever useage rights you are comfortable with. NOTE: Specify the currency you'll be paid in. USD = US DOLLARS. It's a world economy now.

A good rule of thumb is if they aren't going to pay you royalties then add 30% to the quote.  So now we're at $2600.  I'd also be comfortable giving them a 180 days exclusive rights to the image, after that it reverts to you so that you can use the image on your own product.  If they want to keep the image as an exclusive to them in perpetuity (essentially forever) then add a few more bucks to the job.

I like the rule of 1/3s for payment- so 1/3 up front for me to start, 1/3 at the halfway point and 1/3 at completion with the agreement that they get the final useable image with the final payment.

Meaning of course, that every file you send them for approval through the stages was at 72dpi and NO bigger than 500 pixels or so tall. This ensures they don't just take your prelims and run with it never paying off the balance owed.

Remember if you give them a price that's too high you can always lower your price, but you can't raise it. 

In that same vein, if you are in financial straights as this potential assignment comes in you can simply follow up your quote if you don't hear from them within a day or two and tell them it's negotiable if you were far off from the number they had in mind.

It's all about NEGOTIATION.

NOW WHAT ABOUT THE CLIENT WHO WON'T PAY ME?

It's going to happen, sooner or later. A client runs out of money before the balance is paid. Unless they file for Bankruptcy protection your best option is to file a civil case against them in your local court system.  In fifteen years I've never had to do this, but I've come close twice.  It's not hard to do especially if you have a contract and a paper trial of your conversations.  It's a simple filing fee and the clerks will usually walk you through it.  You'll have to see a constable or sheriff about notice getting served to the (likely now ex) client but that too will be explained to you when the time comes.

You should also use your instinct.  If a client comes to you with a project someone else had been working on in this day and age of the internet it's not hard to track down the previous creator and find out why the relationship ended.

If a client comes to you with a project that is scattered with fallen creators that should give you a pretty good insight into how smooth this project is going to be.  It certainly could be that this person is a great partner to work with and all those creatives were the guilty parties, but far more likely is that this is a difficult client who is never happy.

Add that to the equation when you're providing your quote (should you decide to work with them). 

I was approached by a client once who I was warned against by several friends who stated they were difficult and slow to pay.

When I quoted the job I did my usual hourly rate x hours x2 only I added ANOTHER X2 to the equation so essentially the quote was DOUBLE what I would have normally charged.

They balked at the price, I stuck to it-- they finally relented and we were off to the races.  They weren't the most difficult client I'd ever had but they were "tweakers"-- so there were a lot of revisions along the way.  They were also a committee which is another FLAG-- committees are slow to green light, slow to get back to you on the latest status look, and slow to respond to emails and that usually eats into the deadline.

If a project needs more than one person's approval I stipulate when the approvals need to be in hand in order for the project to come in on schedule.  This way I can point to this when we start running late.  I also insist on ONE CONTACT person from the group so I'm not getting multiple directions taking me all over the place.

By the time the project was over it had taken me twice as long to finish it as I'd projected-- good thing I doubled my quote.

When they came back for a new project I knew what I was getting myself into up front and used the same quote system.

BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S OK TO SAY NO.

No matter how much they like you, how much they love your work, how much they're willing to pay, how desperately they want to work with you.  Sometimes the right thing to do is to pass.

*OK so what about that HOURLY rate? $100 might seem like a lot or it might seem dirt cheap depending on where you live and how long you've been doing this Freelance thing.  Your best bet to discover the going rate in your area is to keep yourself familiar with the work being done in your industry.

Locally you can attend Chamber of Commerce and Business to Business events, but I find local means little money (at least here in Central Massachusetts-- I've found the same thing in Boston too).  So I keep my client base international via the web.

But network with other artists, find out what they're charging.  Look at ads via sites that advertise for freelancers and see what clients are paying.

A site like FREELANCED.COM can give you insight and fits of laughter too.  I'm always amazed at the number of people who will apply for a gig that pays something like $2 an hour. Amateurs no doubt, because a professional couldn't keep the lights on for that rate.

Meaning keep an open mind when perusing the offerings.  Like the reviews on Amazon, you have to weigh in the value of what the person is saying.

Which will take us to the next lesson:

NEXT UP- ESTABLISH AN ONLINE PROFILE

Andy Fish is a freelance artist and writer who has been living the lifestyle longer than there has been an iPhone on this planet. The advice given has worked for him, it might work for you, he hopes it does. But like all advice, take it with your own situation in mind. If you want to contact him shoot him an email andy@andytfish.com